my latest

 > *A Nun Grading Papers*
>
> Can you imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers,
> all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her
> composure!
>
> PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE
> BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A
> CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
>
> KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE
> FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
> THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS
> BEEN LEFT IN.
>
>
> 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS.. GOD GOT TIRED OF
> CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
>
> 2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE . NOAH'S WIFE WAS
> JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
>
> 3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF
> FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
>
> 4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
> TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
>
> 5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
> JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
>
> 6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
>
> 7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED
> BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
>
> 8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS,
> MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
>
> 9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
>
> 10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
>
> 11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE
> HEBREWS IN THE BATTLEOF GERITOL.
>
> 12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON
> TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
>
> 13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS S KILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR.
> HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL
> TIMES.
>
> 14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES....
>
> 15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE
> MAGNA CARTA.
>
> 16.. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY
> FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
>
> 17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
>
> 18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
> *
> 19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
> BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE
> BY SWEAT ALONE.
>
> 20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO
> GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE... **
>
> 21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.**
> **
> 22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.**
>
> 23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.**
>
> 24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY
> WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE. **
>
> 25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY*
>

the link to the page there on is now posted on the side bar

 Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!
-------------------------------------
I stopped at Mc Donald’s and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said “would you like some fries with that?”

--------------------------
*One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!

----------------------------------------------------------

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------------------

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went
to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!
And last, but not least:

Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'

'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'


Sadly, they walk among us!

Traffic Camera

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.. Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

You can't fix stupid.

 due to economics i will be cutting back on my internet expenses...

so the oodles doodles site will be going, so please save all family pics and info you wish to have a copy of.

the bloodyroses site is currently being moved to a free site and am only keeping the domain name..with a redirect.

my 3d store and prints will still be available , however all personal chit chat will be held at facebook.

the sites will be totally gone by march 17th...

 

 Congratulations to the winners of our Student Art Competition! We selected 58 pieces of art to be featured on our new Children's 4th Floor.

you can see our daughters name here

http://www.renown.org/studentart

and her entry here

http://www.facebook.com/renownchildrenshospital?sk=app_270245906373067#!/renownchildrenshospital?sk=app_270245906373067

 

on page 2

prize $100.00 and money for the art class for the school

 

http://www.chanelreplicabags.org/

This is nothing more than a high priced SPAMMER!!!

the bags don't even look pretty enough to window shop!!

I would ask everyone to please visit that site and send them SPAM!!!!!!

via there contact us link!!

I have repeatedly asked them to not spam by family blog, and have IP Banned them many times!!

checked IE Tools -> Manage Add-ons, and it says "shockwave flash object enabled").

allowing ActiveX to run in your IE security settings."

My IE security settings are set at the recommended "default settings" for all zones.

 

Whether the slideshow works or not in Internet Explorer as far as I know depends on the version people are using, the service pack and whether they enabled Javascript or not

 

the slide show is a pop up.........is it being blocked?